I was born in the town Potsdam, St. Lawrence County, New York on the 1st of September 1819. I was the sixth child of Varnum and Sarah Emes Fiske. My parents emigrated from New Hampshire in the year 1817 to New York State. Their knowledge of their ancestors was very limited. The name of my grandfather on my fathers's side was Daniel Fiske, and on my mother's side was Alexander Emes. Both served in the Revolutionary War, and received pensions for their services.

My parents never united with any church but were liberal in their religious views as to the universal salvation of mankind. Consequently they allowed their children to attend the services of any denomination they chose.

At an early age, I became a lover of books and spent much of my time in reading the scriptures and other religious books, and meditating upon the things of God; desiring always that my life might be pure, that I have a right to the tree of life and enter in through the gate to the Holy City.

While remaining in my father's house as a school girl, the news came to our village that a young man in the south-western part of the state had declared that he had the visitation of an angel, and that he had found a book or a golden bible. Sometime after that, my father had occasion to go on business to the city of Ogdensburg. When he returned I heard him tell my mother that he had seen the gold bible, sand in answer to her inquiries, he told her that it purported to be a history of the ancient inhabitants of this continent, and that he had found it lying upon the table of the hotel.

As time passed on, I sometimes found an article in the newspapers headed "The Mormon War'" I suppose it was when our people were passing through the persecutions of Missouri.

In 1837 I became acquainted with a young man from the town of Madrid by the name of Ezra H. Allen. He was an ambitious young man of good character, and on December 25, 1837 I was married to him, and removed with him to his home in Madrid.

A few years passed, and my own dear mother and mother-in-law had been lain in the silent tomb. We received their parting counsel, and mourned for them as do those without the consolation of the gospel. Two beautiful little girls had been born to us to bless our home with their presence, and we were comforted.

 About this time word was brought to us that a Mormon elder had given out an appointment for a meeting to be held in the district school house in our neighborhood. I at once made up my mind to attend the meeting and hear what they had to say about the angel and the golden bible.

At the time appointed, accompanied by my husband, I proceeded to the school house with some anxiety. After the services a quiet and unassuming man arose and said that he had not come to preach any new doctrine, but that the doctrine that he taught was old, the same that Jesus and his Apostles taught when he was upon this earth.

I felt that his remarks were very reasonable and well sustained by quotations from the scriptures. My friends asked me what I thought of the preaching. I replied that I had heard nothing that I would condemn. They said they thought that I would be a Mormon. I replied "I cannot condemn the Scriptures." I soon learned that the elder was our esteemed Brother William Snow.

A few more months passed away. Late in the autumn the health of my younger child began to decline. Medical aid seemed of no avail. I watched her tender form slowly and gradually sink away with all the anxiety of a fond mother's heart.

One day as I was quietly sitting at my work a rap came on my door. Upon opening it I met one of my husband's brothers and his wife. They were accompanied by two gentlemen who were strangers, but were introduced to me as Elder Christopher Merkley and Elder Murray Symonds, two Mormon Elders who had come into the neighborhood to fill an appointment which had previously been given out.

I immediately put away my work, prepared supper and made myself ready to accompany them to meeting. After the meeting a short time passed in pleasant conversation and they returned home.

After this visit, other visits were made, and books were introduced into the house, and we were also allowed the privilege of asking questions pertaining to their faith. The seed that was thus sown in our hearts soon began to manifest life. My husband and two of his brothers soon offered themselves for baptism. As for myself I sought the silent recesses of my chamber and poured out my soul to the Lord. Earnestly I besought Him not to suffer me in my weakness to reject the truth, and that if the doctrines I had heard were from Him, and were principles I had heard were true, that I might receive them. My mind was occupied in meditation, reading and prayer. I wanted, most of all, to be sure Mormonism was true.

At the appointed time my husband and his brothers were baptized. I did not go with them, but remained with my sick infant. They all came home for confirmation. After receiving the ordinance, my husband requested the elders to administer to our sick child, which they did.

My soul was filled to overflowing. I had spent all my days in a Christian land and had never seen the ordinances of the gospel performed until now; yet it was written in the scriptures and practiced by Jesus and his apostles. In my anxiety I was greatly impressed.

How earnestly I wished to be where no human ear could hear my voice so that I might shout "Glory to God in the highest! Hallelujah to God and the Lamb!" I had never heard a Latter-day Saint shout and hadn't been very charitable toward the Methodist shouting, so I closed my lips and pondered over these things. My infant was blessed but not healed. Our Heavenly Father had decreed otherwise, and its spirit was freed from its mortal tabernacle.

We now began to receive the spirit of gathering. Our home was lonely without our darling babe, and we constantly longed for the society of the saints and to hear the prophet's voice, so we began in earnest to prepare to move to Nauvoo. Our homestead was sold, our team and wagon fitted up, our friends and kindred visited, and in two weeks we were ready to start. I shall never forget the sorrowful tears I shed as I passed the grave of my darling child.

Our faces were now set as flint Zion-ward and God opened our way. On account of the lateness of our journey in the season, it was long and tedious, but we arrived in good health early in the winter of 1842. We rented a small house and began active life that we might accumulate the necessaries of life and be prepared for any change that might wait us.

Early in the spring of 1843 an effort was made to settle a place called Shocoquan about 25 miles up the Mississippi River. Amasa Lyman was in charge. My husband concluded to remove there. It was a beautiful location and I was delighted with the scenery. The majestic river rolled by in all its beauty and grandeur. A few steps from my door wild flowers greeted me at every step. But the climate proved to be damp and unhealthful. It wasn't my good fortune to walk long on beds of flowers and rejoice in the beauties of nature.

In April we returned to Nauvoo and were present at the general conference held April 6th, 1843 held inside the walls of the temple. This was the first time we had the privilege of seeing and hearing the Prophet Joseph speak. We had a time rejoicing with the saints and returned home in good health.

In May of that year I was baptized by Amasa Lyman and confirmed a member of the Mormon Church. Meeting was held in our branch and God's Spirit attended, causing us to rejoice.

One evening after sunset, we observed in the northern sky a white cloud in the shape of a spear, one end higher than the other, which remained stationary. It did not seem to rise or set, but appeared in the same position for several evenings. Then it disappeared. I heard someone ask Brother Lyman what he thought of it and he replied smiling "I don't know. I guess it is the fore end of some runner."

One evening after I retired to rest I had the following dream: It seemed I was nursing a young eagle which, after nursing for some time, flew away to a great distance. After a long time it passed away, then returned to my arms and I nursed it again. In July our first son was born. We named him Alexander Hamilton Allen.

We had not been there long when my husband was seized with chills and fever, and in a few days our little daughter came running into the house, shivering from head to foot, exclaiming "Oh mama it is cold, it is going to rain," and climbed upon my bed. I covered her up where she lay chilling until a fever came to take the place of the chill.

In a few days I was also attacked with the ague. We were now a family of invalids. It was difficult to hire a nurse, and as difficult to keep one, so I had to be my own nurse.

In the mornings my husband would bolster me up in bed, and after washing me and combing my hair, would leave me to wash and dress the two children while he prepared a little breakfast. Then I would lie down with a spell of ague and fever which generally lasted four or five hours until my strength was gone.

I was soon unable to turn over in bed. My baby had to be put out to nurse, but was returned to me in a week or so; the people saying they could do it no longer.

Before long the babe was attacked with chills. From poor nursing it soon wasted away. It would cry and moan while the chills were on it, then go to sleep while a burning fever preyed on its tender form. Seldom were its lips moistened with water, or its little head bathed with a cooling lotion.

Bitter recollections: I over-exerted myself, lost my speech and lay helpless by its side. The babe lived eight weeks, then passed on. My little eagle had flown. For a portion of the time, my husband and little girl were unable to wait on themselves. A few kind friends came and prepared my baby for burial; not one of the family being able to accompany it to the grave.

I continued to grow weaker. One disease after another setting in until I fainted and became unconscious. I was believed by all to be dying. They afterward told me I was in this condition two nights and one day. Suddenly I became conscious, but was too weak to move or speak or even to open my eyes. There were several persons in the house. I heard one say "Sister Allen is dying." Then they remarked on my general character and the esteem they cherished for me. One woman came and whispered a message in my ear, one to take with me to the other side of the veil.

At length a lady came in and asked how long I had lain in that condition, and if they had given me any nourishment. She then mixed some wine and water, and with a teaspoon, put some of it into my mouth. It ran out. I hadn't the power to swallow. She then put the spoon down to the roots of my tongue and got a few drops to run down my throat. I then began to regain strength. She continued until I could swallow, and I put out my tongue and touched my lips. She then sent for some meat broth which she fed me, nursing me back to life as an angel of mercy.

After I was able to speak in a low whisper, I requested my husband to take me to Nauvoo as soon as I had enough strength. I said, "If I die, I wish to be buried there." Meanwhile one of the brethren died and Brother Lyman had to be taken to Nauvoo. Another man soon died.

As soon as it could be arranged, I was placed on a bed and removed to Nauvoo, being taken to my husband's sister's home. (Her name was Margaret Wilcox, wife of Silas, whose oldest son Samuel Allen was named after Ezra's father.) Here I received nursing and the faith and prayers of the saints, and soon began to recover; although it was not until January that I was able to perform the duties of my household.

My husband and little daughter also recovered. In the spring of 1844, I was again attacked with fever, but I requested them to take me and baptize me in the river for my health. This they did. I was taken home, put to bed, and began immediately to recover, and become healthy and strong in body.

In June 1844, the clouds which had been hovering so long over the heads of the Latter Day Saints now burst in all their fury, enshrouding in deep gloom all the hearts of the saints. On the 27th our beloved prophet and his brother Hyrum the Patriarch were murdered and Brother John Taylor was seriously wounded in the Carthage, Illinois jail.

Many have written on this painful subject so I shall pass it over. Suffice it to say that many were the bitter tears shed, but our faith was in God. He had accomplished his work here on earth and we would not forsake it. We know it will triumph, while those who committed the horrible crime would eventually be punished.

Several of the twelve apostles were absent. Upon their return the people were counseled to remain calm, build up the city, and to finish the temple. In consequence of the sacrifice and loss of property and sickness, we had become reduced to very poor circumstances.

In September 1845 our second son was born. We named him Alexander Alma Allen.

The work of the temple had steadily progressed until the winter of 1845-6. Many of the saints received their endowments in that house, my husband and I being among the number.

On account of continued persecutions, the church authorities began to make preparations to move west, although very few, if any knew where the journey would end. My husband, in company with Joel Ricks, took a journey to St. Louis to assist him in bringing his stock to Nauvoo to prepare for the journey. In return he was to have assistance in moving his family.

All was in readiness, my husband taking charge of a large team, We crossed the Mississippi on April 27, 1846. On account of heavy rains and bad roads, our progress was very slow.

The company was urged forward until we arrived at Mt. Pisgah where we remained until our brethren plowed and put in crops for the emigration that was expected to follow. There we resumed our journey until we reached Council Bluffs. There we encamped near a small stream at a place called Muscatel. There were some violins in the company, and my husband had been a fifer in the Nauvoo Legion, so in the evenings after the company had camped they endeavored to cheer the hearts of the saints with their music.

While at this place, a call was made for 500 of our brethren to enlist in the service of the United States; this group to be known as the Mormon Battalion, and to march to California, where it was expected the Mormons would settle.

My husband volunteered and prepared to go immediately. Bidding his family and friends farewell, he joined Company "C" as a fifer and left July 16, 1846. Before leaving, he made preparations for me to draw provisions from a store of a trader at a small settlement on the Missouri River, but for some reason the provisions never reached me. Through some misunderstanding it passed into other hands.

Our company now prepared to move to a better location. Having received no means, I thought it best to remain where I was. My goods were put into a small shanty, my cow separated from the other stock, and the company went on. After they had been gone a few hours, the cow, determined to follow the herd, broke through the corral and ran after them. I couldn't leave my babe and little girl to follow her. Overcome by the desolate situation, I sat down in the wilderness and wept bitterly. I determined to go to a camp some distance away for help, and found a young woman to stay with me.

Upon my return, I was surprised to see my cow come walking back into camp. The Lord always provides for those who put their trust in him. On this occasion he was more than kind.

After we had retired for the night, we were startled by a man's voice calling "Hello." At first I was afraid to answer but as he continued to call, I asked what he wanted, He asked where the company had gone and I told him, After a few more inquiries about stray stock he departed.

Next morning he came back and said he was camped in the edge of the timber and asked the privilege of moving his wagon into the yard, saying he had a family, I told him I should be glad to have their company, From this grew a friendship that remains to this day. Thus The Lord raised me up friends in the hour of need.

I can't recount all the kindnesses that were shown me by this couple. He built me a house, divided his provisions with me, and waited until I could, in a meager way, return their generosity. Meanwhile I exerted myself every way that I could to provide for my family of two.

When my son was a year old, he was attacked with chills and fever and became seriously ill; continuing to grow weaker until I became anxious about his recovery, After fasting and prayer, he was entirely well on the third day. Through God he was healed.

The Omaha Indians were very troublesome in the spring of 1847, killing stock and stealing everything that was loose. My cow wondered into the edge of the timber to get something to eat. There the Indians found her, drove her into the timber, and killed her to satisfy their hunger. I had to give the calf away to save its life.

In the spring of 1848, I began to look forward to the return of my husband. I had taught school the summer before to get means to buy another cow. The Lord had blessed me, and the saints had been very kind. But a long journey lay before me, and I looked forward to the time when Ezra's strong arms would lift my burdens from my shoulders. I gathered grapes from the lowlands, made wine, and prepared such dainties as I knew would please him.

At length news came from a company of brethren who was expected to cross the ferry in a few days. I felt anxious to go to meet him but circumstances would not permit. So I waited, watching and listening to every sound that came near my door. After several days, word was brought that some of the brethren had arrived, but my husband with two others, Daniel Browett and Henderson Cox, had been killed in the California mountains. They had gone ahead of the main company to prepare a road. On the second night, Indians had murdered them in their camping ground.

I learned that a purse containing about $120 in gold dust had been found, and that it was being brought to me. Thus were my hopes and expectations blasted in a moment. What was there now left for me but to trust in God?

I had no relatives in the Church, two small children, and a journey of a thousand miles before me. For some time I felt I would sink under the burden and anguish of my heart. Then I roused myself and began to meditate on what was best to do; how to provide for my family and prepare for the journey. At last I determined to leave this undertaking in the hands of God, and to make every effort to complete what we had undertaken.

In a few days the purse which my husband had worn was brought to me with all the gold in it. Blood stains were still on it, the price of his life. My son now has the purse and the blood stains are plain to be seen.

When my folks in the East heard of my terrible plight, they wrote me that if I would give up my terrible religion, all would soon be forgotten and forgiven, and that every comfort of life that they enjoyed would be shared gladly with me and my children. But I knew the gospel was true; I couldn't deny it, and was willing to take my chance and trust in the living God.

In 1849, I was summoned to attend the death bed of my husband's sister. Her husband had gone to Salt Lake. She was conscious to the last. Her last words were "I can see the Lord has not forgotten me." She left two children. I took them home with me and in a few weeks their brother came and took them to his home in Missouri.

Soon after this I was requested to teach school in the absence of the teacher. When I arrived at the boarding school, I found a young woman of my faith engaged as a housekeeper. At this time the cholera was prevalent in some of the settlements on the Missouri River. There had been one death near by and this young lady was attacked by it.

When my school closed at night, she sent for me to come to her room. When I entered the room she asked me to administer to her, as there were none of the brethren there. I laid hands upon her head and asked God to rebuke the disease and preserve her life from the power of the destroyer and restore her to health. She immediately arose and said she was healed, that God had heard our prayers, and she returned to work the next day. The mistress of the house was astounded. We made no explanation but went about our duties.

Upon another occasion, Brother Orson Hyde had been editing a paper at Kaysville. I had been assisting Sister Hyde for a few days. One evening after I retired, she came into the room with a candle in her hand. Before leaving she accidentally set fire to a piece of cloth that reached to the curtains around the bed where I was sleeping. I awoke suddenly and found my bed curtains in flames. Instantly I sprang from the bed, snatched the child that was sleeping with me and gave the alarm. My hands were not seriously burned. Again I feel to thank God for saving our lives.

In 1851 I exchanged my gold dust for cash and goods. reserving enough of the gold to make me a ring which I still wear. I gathered my little means together and hired me a wagon made, bought myself another cow and a yoke of young cattle and helped purchase another yoke of cattle, and procured my provisions for the journey.

I took a young man and his wife in my wagon, he acting as teamster, and in company with many of my brethren and sisters started for Salt Lake in the spring of 1852. I will hastily pass over the incidents of the journey as many have written about it. It is enough to say that our teams weakened, our loads were heavy, and our progress slow. The cholera attacked the camp for several hundred miles, one woman dying. we arrived in Salt Lake City September 14, 1852.

When I arrived with all I had in this world, I had no place to go. But I had learned that the Lord always provides for those who put their trust in him. One of the brethren had just completed a new stable that had never been used, and I moved my family and belongings into that, my first home in Utah. I obtained work wherever I could, taught school, and the Lord blessed our efforts.

I was considered an expert spinner of yarn and helped make many yards of cloth and carpets. My first home was lighted by a rag 'bitch' until we were able to make tallow candles which we thought were wonderful. Many days I went to the hills to dig segos to help provide food for myself and family.

In 1854, Joel Ricks, whom my husband knew in Nauvoo, built a large comfortable home and asked me to come and share it with him and his family. We were married some time afterward, but our trials were not at an end for we experienced the crickets. and when the news came that Johnston's Army was coming to destroy us [p.10] all, we moved to the southern part of the state with the rest of the saints until peace was established.

Pioneer life did not end for us. My husband engaged in farming and was among the first to settle Cache Valley. We lived in a bush bowery. sleeping in a wagon box. After passing through varied experiences that only pioneers know, my husband built a large rock house where we began to enjoy some of the necessities (to us they were luxuries). The rock house still stands as it was built on what is now Main Street in Logan, Utah. Business houses have been built around it, but it is a part of one of them.

When the Relief Society was organized in Logan, I was chosen as its first secretary, a position I held for about two years. I was then set apart as President of the First Ward Relief Society, and held that position for many years, doing the best I could with what wisdom the Lord gave me.
I did my part in helping with the building of the Temple in Logan and gathered genealogy of my own and husband's families that I was able to do, and when the temple was completed, I spent many happy days working for their salvation.

CHILDREN OF SARAH BERIAH FISKE

By Ezra Heala Allen—1st Husband

1. Ammorette Cynthia, born Madrid, New York, 19 April 1839. Married Lewis Ricks, Logan, Utah 25 Dec 1859
2. Jerushia Elvira, born Louiville, New York, 23 Mar 1841: died August 1842 in Madrid, New York
3. Alexander Hamilton, born Schocoquin, Illinois, July 1843: died September 1843 in Schocoquin near Nauvoo, Ill.
4. Alexander Alma, born Nauvoo, Illinois, 28 September 1845: married Maria Elinor Cowley, died Logan, 31 July 1916

By Joel Ricks—2nd Husband

1. Ezra Varnum, born Centerville, Utah, 13 July 1852: married Lois J. Clark 24 October 1888
2. Sarah Beriah, born Centerville, Utah 18 January 1855: died 27 October 1869
3. Ellen, born 30 March 1856, married Charles W. Nibley 30 Mar 1880
4. Joel, born 21 July 1858, married Susette Cardon 13 Jan. 1881
5. Adelia, born 24 October 1860, died 22 November 1863
6. Esther Adeline, born 28 October 1862; married Joseph E. Wilson 17 Aug 1888

(This story retyped by George M. Caldwell 24 March 1988)